She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's shark week go big or go home
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
