some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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