Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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