D3 body, D1 cock
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
