Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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