Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just puked most of my soul out..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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