bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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