hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
