Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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