I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
