if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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