Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
