So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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