my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
