if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
