the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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