Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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