Buhtt sex?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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