Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
