There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
