now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
