yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
