My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
