i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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