He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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