I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
