im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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