things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
