hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
