therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
