I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
