Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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