She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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