yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
