he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
