I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
