and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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