Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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