you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
