after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
