She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
