You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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