names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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