She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
