doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
