i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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