I want to stick my p in your. b.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize