So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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