You just made me feel so damn special
Porn is love you can see.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize