If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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