what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
