I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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