your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
