I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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