I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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