he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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