Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
