Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
