if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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